Confused

The feeling of fear and confusion are eating away at me. I feel so lost and I don't have any idea what to do. I sense the hesitation, and it scares me to death. Of course everyone has been giving me their two cents, they all have advice and want to share their perspective. And then to top it off, they of course all want to and are giving me a bad time for being in a relationship with a married man. For good reason, and they are right. I shouldn't have let a relationship develop with someone who wasn't emotionally available. Even though he was separated, he was still married. I wonder if we would have connected had we met under different circumstances, if we both had been available from the beginning. I don't know now how to feel. Sometimes I feel like he truly loves me, and then sometimes I feel like I am the back-up plan. I honestly love him, but I am scared. I know I shouldn't let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game. Should I grab the bat and play the game, or sit in the dug out and wait out the rain?